bad writing – Page 5 – The Adventures of Vindalf

reposted 16aug18

You can’t close a successful museum. A mayor can, however, make sure it’s not successful, then make it into a steakhouse.

#239 reposted 14aug18

I’m no economist, but it seems strange how large organizations and governments always have money for CEO bonuses and pensions, but not to provide the basic services properly.

#238 reposted 9aug18

They should have listened to sense and bartered for more stuff. It could have worked… if city hall played fair.

#235 reposted 2aug18

The evil robot, previously Shakespeare’s sidekick, is repaired and ready for another round!

#234 reposted 1aug18

I used to drive a Ford Taurus, so it’s an ox. Get it? That’s comedy! The worst part of Canadian winters is when you get that thin layer of ice on the car. The one that’s too thick to defrost and too think for the scraper to get any bite into. And, of course, I can’t keep the car in a garage because then were would all my spare tires and half-completed projects live?

Today is 30c and I am melting.

#233 reposted 16jul18

Remember Fritz Von Walmart from issue 133? This is his evil grandson. He’s not a dwarf, just short. I was going to make that more of a thing… then I forgot.

#232 reposted 24jul18

Casa Loma was much cooler when I worked there. But the mayor had friends who ran night clubs and banquet halls. They wanted the castle. The most notable sign of decay was when the new catering company took over and stopped giving the leftovers to the staff. The old catering company gained a lot of good will with extra snacks.
Once, due to a scheduling mix up, they had an entire brunch buffet completely untouched. That was a good day to be working.

#231 reposted 20jul18

Oh no! Looks like I found another actual plot! very loosely based on the castle I used to work at, with special guest star: the ghost of they man who built it.

#230 Reposted 17JUL18

And that is why I don’t have a suit of riveted mail. Historically there was some kind of device to make the process easier, but many of these inventions are lost to time. Modern machines just don’t do it right.

#229 reposted 12jul18

Seinar Fleet Systems’ Tie Defender is the best ship ever built. I first flew one in the game Tie Fighter ‘95 for windows. At the time, Dad was really in to flight simulators, so we had a joystick with all the buttons! Faster than an A-wing, and hits harder than a Y-wing, with hyper drive and shields. I was super happy to find out that my baby is cannon again.

One of my ex girlfriends was really offended when I mentioned I would choose a Tie Defender over her. My wife understands.